Top 7 Darwin Award Winning Legends Of All Time!
In honor of the newly released The Darwin Awards movie, we decided to give you our top 7 Darwin Awardees that have made us laugh and raise an eyebrow over the years. There have been many that are worth mentioning, and getting the top 7 Darwin Award Winning stories were a challenge. Please bear in mind that this list was created out of our own choices and perspectives of stupidity.
1. Fish Gag - 1992
Still unconfirmed by Darwin, this story about 28-year-old Harris Simwaba choked to death by a live fish became a runner-up during the 1992 Darwin Awards listing.
What started out as a solo fishing expedition turned out to be a Darwin tragedy when a fish he caught slid down Simwaba’s throat as he tried to bite it to death. The fish was lodged on this throat and Simwaba tried to hook it out with a stick. But time ran out and his body was found sprawled on the grounds with a stick sticking out of his mouth.
2. Faithful Flotation - 2006
One of the Darwin Awardees last year and among one of the few stories involving church and faith, a pastor receives a Darwin Award from us for being on our top 7. His story was simple… and stupid, of course.
A 35-year-old pastor insisted that anyone can walk in water and that all you need to do this miracle is to have enough faith. To prove his point, he set out to walk across a major estuary, which has a distance of a 20-minute ferry ride. The result was quite obvious, especially if we add the fact that the pastor could not swim.
3. Midnight Special - 1992 Winner!!!
The winner of the Darwin Awards of 1992 also tells us a simple moral lesson: Don’t put a loaded gun next to your phone. Take it from Ken Charles Barger, who woke up to a ringing telephone on the side of his bed and accidentally grabbed his Smith & Wesson .38 Special, thinking it was the phone. Drowsiness may have been a factor, for the gun discharged when he drew it to his ear.
4. Rock Out - 2006
“Rock and Roll will never die” but we do, especially if you find yourself flying out of a third-floor window. Li Xiao Meng was just rocking out in his room with his air guitar one day just like any typical day. But he kept on bouncing and bouncing on his bed and decided to take it to another level that he rocked himself right out of his window.
5. Wife Tossing in Buenos Aires - 1998 Winner!!!
It’s a different quality of lovers’ quarrel in Buenos Aires! Imagine tossing your wife out of the eighth-floor balcony and following suit either to rescue her or to make sure she really falls down, only to die yourself. Talk about a little karma.
Another story attached to this Darwin Award winner is that of a couple wherein the guy pushes out the girl, and the girl exacts her revenge by taking the guy along with her off the third-floor balcony. Another lesson here: Love can kill… and earn you a Darwin Award.
6. Faulty Aim Fatal - 2002
This is one of the many examples why guns are just as dangerous to the owner as it can be to the target. Why, oh, why can’t they see that?
While running away from the police (because of erratic driving), Gerald of Colorado decides to just shoot behind him wildly while running. This task can be easy, but not so for Gerald, who managed to shoot himself in the head while discharging the weapon over his shoulder.
7. Historic Darwins - 1994
With the many deserving Darwin Awardees, I decided to include the Historic Darwins on the list. The Historic Darwins includes the surprisingly unimpressing deaths of some of the world’s famous names — Attila the Hun, Catherine the Great, Tycho Brahe, Francis Bacon, and many more.
To think that even the famous have such a flaw… and at the last moments of their lives, too.
